In the past I've been told that I am a hard person to read. I don't always show my emotions through the normal visual cues of facial expressions or body language. This has caused many a former friend and couple ex-boyfriends to completely misunderstand what I am saying, or take my lack of visual response as apathy toward situations. That's not the case at all. It has also contributed to a number of strangers and acquaintances getting a completely wrong first impression of me. I'm not as cold as I come off.
I have found though, through several misunderstandings and conversations about my inability to express proper emotions, that if I can't express it with my visual cues and responses, I need to say it.
I've thought a lot about the times that others have impacted me. Those times that I have been deeply moved were never by their facial expressions or body movements; The times that I remember being moved by someone else, it was by their words. Whether it was that person was upset with me or they were simply overcome with emotion, sometimes, you just have to let it out. Let's be honest, I just do not respond to other people's tears.
And really, how much better do you feel when expressing your emotion by saying what you truly feel? How many times have you told someone what was on your mind and heart and they were surprised?
Talk it out. Words do matter. Even if you think what you're going to say is scary.
There's been many times recently where I've had to back-track and tell people that just because I'm not crying, doesn't mean I don't care that they're sad about me moving, or even that I'm not sad-- because it is quite the opposite. I've also bottled up a lot of emotions towards the stress of moving and guess what, the times I've admitted it, I almost lifted the stress away immediately.
I shut into myself when I'm overwhelmed emotionally. I get grouchy. Admit it-- I know some of you are the same way. So let's all avoid the bad days that we are creating ourselves by just letting it out. Say what you want to say. Words of honesty are far more effective that just shutting down.